After years of tranquility in my apartment, I thought I knew something about the power of thoughts to create the environment we want. But just then, I began to experience the insidious intrusion of fear and insecurity. Someone seemed intent on making trouble for me and the accusations were making my life miserable.
The trouble started with a call from the apartment manager complaining of noises from my apartment, day and night. He said it seemed to come from my high heels on my tile floor. Since I have neither high heels nor a tile floor, I thought this must be about a different apartment and would soon be resolved. But it wasn’t. The complaints continued and gradually, I began to feel, somehow, “If I’m accused, I must be guilty!”
This first link in a chain of negative thoughts imprisoned me in tightening bonds of fear.
I found myself analyzing my every sound and movement. I even asked my visitors not to talk too loud. At one point, I thought I had found the culprit: my typewriter! Its sound might be mistaken for high heels on the floor. But since I need to use my typewriter, I started looking for ways to muffle its sound. All this increased my stress.
It would have helped to know where the complaints were coming from, but the manager refused to identify the source. Soon enough, I came face to face with my accuser as I left the apartment to get my mail. She yelled insults at me while spewing out the same complaints the manager had related. From then on, she seemed to appear wherever I went. One night, awakened by loud noises, I opened my door to see what was going on, and there she stood, yelling at me again! I was alarmed enough to call security.
The manager tried to reassure me that the woman wasn’t dangerous. She had dementia and wandered into the corridors sometimes and they were watching her. I wasn’t reassured. The power of thoughts had me in its grip and I had become too afraid of what she might do next. It was almost unbearable to realize I had lost the wonderful feelings of security and wellbeing I had known for so long! How could this happen? Why did it? And what could I do about it?
Asking myself these questions reminded me of the power of thoughts for good or bad and my responsibility to control my thinking. And as I did, I began to see that my neighbor wasn’t really the problem. I had yielded to fear. I knew then that if I didn’t get a handle on my thinking, I would remain a prisoner of my own fears and imaginings.
So I concentrated on getting my fears in perspective while focusing on all the good in my life. As I began to think more constructively, my faith and confidence came back. I could even think more compassionately about this poor creature with her obsessive paranoia – her cross to bear – and how very much more fortunate I am. And soon after I began to regain control of my own mind, for whatever reason, the new neighbor moved away, and the tranquility I so treasured, returned.
What a testament to the power of thoughts!
Copyright © 2016 Lemurian Fellowship