A man should never be ashamed to own he has been wrong . . . in other words, he is wiser today than he was yesterday. – Alexander Pope
A crucial health lesson for us began with soreness in his foot that made it hard for my husband to wear shoes, or walk. Gradually this progressed to swelling, inflammation, and pain. My husband and I come from quite different family backgrounds where health is concerned. He is geared toward alternative treatments; I look more to traditional medicine. As his foot grew worse, seemingly by the hour, he went back over every health lesson he’d learned in his life and did all he could think of to deal with what seemed to be a simple infection. Every hour for two days and nights, he took a quantity of supplements and concoctions he expected would help. But the condition worsened.
One of the most important helps the Philosophy has been to me has to do with finding the balance between helping another, yet not interfering in his right to choose what he feels to be best for himself. I wanted to insist he get medical help but I knew what he did with his health had to be his decision. I felt I had to trust he’d make the right choice for him, and tried to have faith that it would work out. But I was so worried about it I went outside to a peaceful spot to pray. After praying I felt a quiet sense of calm. I went in the house and told him as simply as I could that he’d tried his best but I thought he should seek medical help.
At that point he agreed to go to the emergency room as his foot had turned a deep purple. The swelling and color were enough to surprise even the emergency room doctor, and it had become quite painful. We learned the infection was cystitis or erysipelas, from which people used to die before antibiotics, and after a strenuous course of these, the foot gradually returned to normal.
Recovery took a lot of time off his feet, though, and during this period of convalescence the two of us realized an opportunity to talk over many things we’d seemed not to have time for until then. It was a turning point in our marriage. My faith in the Lemurian Philosophy helped me step back and not try to force an outcome just because I felt it was right. And he says that because I didn’t push too hard, not only was he able to accept my help more easily, but learn a lesson about the limits of his own knowledge, too.
We know much of the effectiveness of a treatment depends on how a patient feels about it, so it was important to believe in my husband’s choice to do what he trusted and felt was right for him. We both gained a deeper appreciation of the value of the other’s ideas, as well as the limits of them. And our marriage has been stronger for working through this experience.
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